SA IYONG PAGYAO

wag mo kong sanayin

na kunin

galing sa yo

ang mga bagay

na alam mong

hindi mo maibibigay

mula ngayon

hanggang sa kahuli-hulihan

magalak

magbunyi

magpakaligaya

ayokong maramdaman ang mga yan

kung panandalian lang

walang katumbas na saya

ang nadarama pag pinansin mo na

pag pinag- lalaanan mo na ng oras

pag pinara- ramdaman mo na ng halaga

itong katauhan kong

naghahanap ng importansya

wag mo kong sanayin

na kunin

galing sa yo

ang mga bagay

na alam mong

hindi mo maibibigay

mula ngayon

hanggang sa kahuli-hulihan

ayokong dumating ang isang araw

na makikita ko ang sarili kong luhaan

at ang tanging maisasambit lang ay:

"sinanay mo kasi ako ng ganito,

paano na ngayon ako na wala na ang mga ito?"

kaya wag na lang kaya

maaring iwan mo na ang ideyang

lumapit pa

kung isang araw ay

bigla biglaan ka rin lang lilisan

wag mo kong sanayin

na maangkin

galing sa yo

ang mga bagay

na alam mong

hindi mo maibibigay

mula ngayon

hanggang sa kahuli-hulihan

masarap damhin ang atensyon,

ang oras ng isang tapong espesyal sa yo

masarap malamang me nag-iisip sa yo

masarap masanay sa lahat ng 'to

ngunit marapat lang na hindi ko tanggapin

ang presensya mo

alam kong walang permanente dito sa mundo

pero kung di ka rin lang magtatagal

maari bang ngayon pa lang

ikaw na ay yumao?

ngayon pa lang ako na'y paulit- ulit na nagsusumao:

wag mo kong sanayin

na maangkin

galing sa yo

ang mga bagay

na alam mong

hindi mo maibibigay

mula ngayon

hanggang sa kahuli-hulihan

(written last October 26, 2010, 244 PM for Ivan)

Blog entries are owned and copyrighted by Leah Bulacan © All Rights Reserved 2011. Unauthorized use, copy, editing, reproduction, publication, duplication and distribution of the blog content, without author's explicit permission, is punishable by Law.



THE START.

There are those things that end things and things that begin things. There’s that picture which makes you start liking someone, an affectionate gesture which makes you start being comfortable with someone. There is also that grueling task which makes you start wanting to end or wanting to quit on something, or an unthought-of action which makes you stop feeling something you’ve held on for a long time.

When things end, we may then wish that the things which somehow helped in making it end did not come to existence at all; that hurtful statement, that emotion- less response, those things you discovered after being kept hidden from you. When things start then end abruptly, we would wish that those things which brought it to start should have been ignored; like that thoughtful message, the unforgettable conversation about your favorite fantasy of all time ‘The Lord of the Rings,’ the bouquet of roses which made begin, the story of you and someone you branded your ‘better half.’

As we grow old, we’d realize that regrets turn into learnings, or they never were regrets at all, or they could be. When something ends and we wanted to prolong its stay, we’d think of things we should not have made or things we should have made. Yes, you can call that regrets. Yet later on as we accept that it ought to end, those things transform into learnings which we can use on new beginnings.

Everyday, we lose and gain something. Everyday, things begin and end, stuff like an MRT- ride, a stressful Monday shift, a conflict with someone. We should all get used to this cycle by now; yet it is our nature to over- think about ends and beginnings- why this happened and why this did not, to still cry about something even if that something is the same thing which made you cry from time to time. It’s our nature to be smart enough to know that things will come to an end at one point, that a pain will all come to pass one day, yet it’s also our nature to be emotional about them. People really are people, we’ve got our minds that make us know what we know, and our hearts that make us feel things toward things we know.

THE END.

Blog entries are owned and copyrighted by Leah Bulacan © All Rights Reserved 2011. Unauthorized use, copy, editing, reproduction, publication, duplication and distribution of the blog content, without author's explicit permission, is punishable by Law.

Kids Needing A Ride

I was on my way to Trinoma, my everyday route towards the MRT North station when I saw 2 kids, a 3 and a 5-year old, waiting for a Jeepney.

The second jeep, labeled 'QUIAPO' passed and then the guy, who was the younger one, moved forward and talked to the Jeepney Driver, ‘Manong wala kami pamasahe, pwede pong pasakay?’ That statement was told in what seemed like an angelic voice. Without any hesitation, the driver nodded with a YES. The kid smiled, then gestured the girl to move towards the Jeep.

Both of the kids can barely reach the handle which will lead them to their seats. I was supposed to be in a hurry but the scene was just too moving for me to continue walking. I stayed there for a couple of minutes recalling the smiles I saw on their faces, the pleading soft voice and the driver’s affectionate stare. I told myself that, how mushy or how nonsensical it may seem to people, I'd share that encounter in writing.

I was wondering where their parents were, whether or not they were lost and where they were headed to. Yet I did not need answers to any of those questions. That fleeting moment made me think about the feeling of euphoria each time I see the smiles of people whom I have helped in a way or two, that fleeting moment validated the fact that one need not be wealthy, to have that heart of giving, of helping.

***Sorry for the lame attempt in having this entry as something post- worthy. Just felt I needed to share this.

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Blog entries are owned and copyrighted by Leah Bulacan © All Rights Reserved 2012. Unauthorized use, copy, editing, reproduction, publication, duplication and distribution of the blog content, without author's explicit permission, is punishable by Law.