Thursday, May 13, 2010

my independence day

it was not yet time to let go, ’twas too early to do so…
attachment comes before detachment, how would the act of separation be done when there are no two or more group of bodies, being, or entities glued to one another?

it was not yet time to let go, as eerie as it may sound, i had to put myself closer to emotions i want to be freed from- anger, resentment, regret, and whatever bonds that hindered me from achieving peace of mind.

it was not yet time to let go, i had to undergo the process of attachment, and that is not to overdo the portrayal of emotions, but to admit that they exist, determine the reason why they existed, and come up with a resolution. admission could be the hardest part, because we oftentimes deny the existence of such unfavorable feelings, thinking that acceptance would denote we are weak.

it was not yet time to let go, but now it is. i have admitted my mistakes- quabbled a lot about my work and thought of leaving the company, made some lies to save myself, planned not to forgive someone…- and i am slowly forgiving myself for having committed them.
yes, it’s hard to let go but it is even harder to be held captive by such emotions. so i am forgiving those who’ve in a way hurt me, i am casting all my complaints and prejudices in the wind, i am letting go of what can’t be’s and what if’s, and what if i have’s, since it would really not make any sense to barrage my mind with such thoughts.

it was not yet time to let go, but now it is. i wanna be freed, and so i’ll be. i declare, and claim freedom, it’s my independence day. i am utterly free.

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