11pt telling people i don't remember you in pain anymore, oh yes i don't pap. but there are times that i'd stop thinking about anything else but you, how it would be nicer if you are here gobbling on a box of pizza with me, how it would have been better if you were there to say KUDOS when awards were given to me, how ur embrace would have kept me safe at that time when i was crying over a guy who wouldn't care.
yes pap, i don't remember you in pain anymore. i just miss you so much it hurts. i've grown pap, yes i did, i am 10 years older than the girl who saw your last breath here on earth, i am 10 years older than the girl who cried ceaselessly on the day you left, i can say i am wiser now.
but pap, they might say i'm a lady now but i still am your girl, i still am the girl who's so proud he's got herself a dad who looks like michael douglas, i still am the girl who loves popsicles, i still am the girl who'd shop for barbie dolls and stuffed toys. pap, i'd oftentimes ask Him to make me dream of you. it was once granted, i dreamt of you and i knew that it was just a dream so i made the most out of it, i hugged you too tight i bet you were suffocating.
told myself i wouldn't cry pap, that remembering how sweet it was to have you around will just make me smile even wider. but like i said, i miss you so much it hurts. it's father's day next week pap. remember what i gave you as a gift on June a decade ago? it wasn't that special really, was it pap? but you told everyone about it, you told everyone how sweet i was and how proud i was to be your daughter. i was a daddy's girl and i always will pap.
the screen's in a blur now pap, wipe my tears away, would you please do? i'm older now pap, and i don't worry about exams or projects anymore, grown-up issues as what you call them- those are what i have in my bag now. what am i blabbing about pap? i wish i'll dream of you in a way that you'd be able to catch up. i know that won't be possible pap, and i know that you know all things about your girl and that you don't need to catch up.
i always have you in my prayers pap, i always ask Him to let you know how much i love and miss you, and i always ask Him to let you be reminded of that message for as long as i live. pap i'd never stop missing you. i'd always want to dream about the food-trips we've had, i will always have a vivid memory of those times when i was sneaking out of the house to stealthily follow you in your morning walks. i know you'll say don't cry, i once recalled you saying those words when i was crying at the hospital. i just cannot not cry pap, i miss the man who was fetching me at the school years ago with his walking stick in hand, i miss the man who would oftentimes argue with her wife about a stuff that her daughter wants to have right away, i miss the man who told her girl how proud he was of her. i mss it all pap and i cannot not cry. . .
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